Dark Walter ficlet

[kelles]

x-posted to bloody_shorts

Here is a very dark and depressing narrative written from Dark Walter's perspective. Spoilers for manga. Rated PG13.



I feel like I've been reduced to a toy soldier, my every movement controlled by someone else. That crazy fat man going on about loving war is operating my controls and tells me what to do. I obey him without a second thought. The murders I commit pain me – I may be under his power, but I know what I’m doing and it is wrong to kill other men. The most awful part is who I work for. I have always hated them and now they control me. They are among the worst to exist in mankind’s history – the Nazis. I have hated them since I was a young boy. They killed my mum and pop in front of my very eyes because of who they were. Millions of others they slaughtered, all in the name of purifying Germany. Deep inside of my soul I try to resist but I cannot. I wonder if it is some cruel joke – how can I, Walter Dollneaz, be a puppet of the Nazi’s? How on earth did they manage to survive? I don’t want to be on this side and yet…I am. I look up ahead and see my former allies, my comrades. Integral, the woman I have watched grow up and protected is watching her city burn down. I am told I will assist in her capture. Will I be able to fulfill that command? If they order me to kill her, can I? My soul is screaming to me to leave this wretched place. Secretly I hope that the young Hellsing vampire, Seras Victoria, or Integral will put an end to my sins before I go completely insane. I feel my mind slipping away with each human life I take. Yet, inside I cling to that shadow of the man I used to be. For when that shadow disappears from my soul completely - Walter Dollneaz will no longer exist. I can only pray that someone kills me before my soul is consumed by the monster I have become. The thirst for blood consumes me. So far I have not killed to feed the hunger but I cannot resist it much longer. The Nazi’s have kept me hungry wanting me to feed on the masses of London. I wonder who will be the unlucky one when I finally succumb to their wishes. Will it be the grocer I bought tea from? Or will I drink the blood of a baker? Shall I slaughter the mailman? Perhaps it will be one of the Hellsing soldiers I used to joke with. As much as it pains me, I think of slaughtering one of the unknown innocents I see fleeing from this nightmare. I fear that by the time I come face to face with Integral Hellsing, my madness and blood thirst will have consumed me and my first taste of human blood will be hers. I can only hope that my shadow will never let that happen.

Comments

Nice....again..:)

[dracschick.livejournal.com]

Again, my RL sucks so you know the status of my writing ---on hold.:(


I did have an idea about Dark Walter going out on a mission from the Millinnium org. and either seeing a young girl killed or almost killing one. Anyway, this 'snaps' Dark Walter back to reg. Walter for a couple of minutes and he realizes all that he lost. Since this was just one of my 'thoughts' that I had had rolling around in my head, I didn't make a decision on whether he would kill the young girl (reminds him of Integra) or not.

Just wanted to share another one of my ideas that probably won't get written..SIGH..I need to figure out how to escape RL...

great idea - and a thought

[kelles.livejournal.com]

Oh I love it. The idea of Dark Walter fascinates me. I wonder if Hirano could be making some sort of statement...perhaps Dark Walter represents all of those soldiers that before they followed Hitler were "good " and not evil but followed what Hitler & the SS said to do and became the bad guy. Kind of like Walter has become. I know there were plenty of evil Nazi's but there were some men/women that just followed & did whatever was asked. I have a book written by one of his top men and he wasn't racist/evil. More then anything he just wanted to design buildings. His sin was going along with Hitler(for selfish reasons) and not leaving.

I might do something with this if you don't. I have to get caught up on in-progress fics. I wish I could escape RL too. It's easier for me because I don't have papers to grade...but I would rather be writing then working.

Yeah...

[dracschick.livejournal.com]

the idea of 'how far in do you get into something before you realize you've lost your soul, etc.' is an idea that comes up alot in fanfic.

I think Hirano's obsessed with the idea of how far someone will go to lose their soul (Integra working with Alucard, she loses it a piece at a time, each time she sends Alucard out to kill) and Walter who just lost his soul all at once.

As long as you credit me for the overall idea (or what you want to borrow from my thoughts), I don't mind. I even have some time to read if you want to send me anything. Perhaps, if you want, I can give some feedback (or be your sounding board:). Since our ideas are similar at times, I would even try co-writing or such. I do have a week off in Feb. (14-18). Also, I have my private email available to my friends of LJ. Whatever you want to do, let me know.:)

[ciarda-rois.livejournal.com]

Wow. Very cool.

[ariyanaforever]

That was really good. Unfortunately I'm only on book 5 so I'm clueless about Dark Walter. ^^;;

Anyway, I know hellsingreviews was thinking of doing the crossover thing. And I have some ideas for crossovers. I was wondering if you could fill me in on Walter's past? It would help me greatly.

[kelles.livejournal.com]

I could fill you in what I know of Walter's past. Tonight I'm kind of wiped out from RL stuff. But, tomorrow I'will. I am really starting to love his character. It is in book 6 I think that Wizardry starts and Walter changes. Basically, he gets about 40 years younger and very hot. He & Integral gets separated and when we see him again, he is working for Millenium. He hasnt' had any dialouge and just has a frozen look on his face.

[kelles.livejournal.com]

Okay let me see - I'm a bit better now so I can tell you about Walter. Walter joined Hellsing at 15 yrs old. I don't think we know much about his past before then. He and Alucard ended the Nazi's operation during WWII destroying the lab where the ghouls were made. There is some speculation (and many fan fics) that he and Alucard were more then freinds when Walter was a teenager. This is probably because of how pretty he was - very bishonnen and the fact that Alucard looked very feminine - his nickname for that time is "girly-card." He continued to work for Hellsing and at some point retired from field work to become the butler. He is about 70 yrs old but doesn't look it at all and is as good a shape as anyone young. During Millenium's assault on Hellsing in volume 6, he fights against Millenium to defend Integral, and she orders him to "make sure you come back at any cost." The next time we see him, he is under Millenium's spell (and many years younger with red eyes) in the chapter called Wizardry.

[ariyanaforever]

Thanks for the info. I appreciate it. ^_^