kelles

Thanks for your constructive criticism. I'll try taking another look at the dialog. I think it is probably one of the areas I have problems with because I'm really new to this. The punctuation was a LJ glitch. LJ has been eating my quotes/apostrophes. I think it is the LJ Client I was using. I'm usually meticulous with grammar/punctuation and had no idea LJ had messed up this chapter.

Also, I am brand new to writing fan fiction. This was actually my first finished fic. I don't really plan on writing more smut - the idea for this fic just occured to me and I felt compelled to write it. I was actually working on another story.

Thanks again for your criticism. I'm hoping my next fic will be better, and will try to improve upon the dialog.